The progress of this treatment has been reported on my forum. The young woman who was treated, daily posted her experiences with the distance treatment under a pseudonym name. The symptoms that have been resolved in this treatment, had been caused by manufacture-entities (see chapter 13).
Sunday, March 15th 2009, 11.35 a.m.
Hi, I want to introduce myself, I’m Emilie, a Belgian and a psychology university student. Yesterday was my first visit to Linda Evans. I happened to come across her website and I made an appointment because I have been contending with a whole range of problems for the past five months. It started with very strange feelings that didn’t seem to belong to me, lots of crying fits, a lot of anxiety, little control over myself, a very bad feeling about myself, images of death, and most of all, voices that all told me weird things. First, I went to see a psychiatrist who couldn’t diagnose much, apart from anxiety.
Around the same time, one of my best friends experienced similar phenomena, but apart from that, he was also suicidal and there was a whole change in his behaviour towards me as well as towards other people. A very painful experience for me who loves him very much, to see him change like that. Enough to make me collapse. After the psychiatrist I landed with mediums who advised me all kinds of remedies, some of which had a temporary effect, but nothing worked really well and above all, not permanently. Then, out of great desperation, I started to search somewhat on the internet and so I ended up with Linda and I wished this had happened much sooner.
During my first appointment I could ask all the questions I wanted and she explained everything to me, she also already tried to remove some entities during which I felt a change that very moment. I didn’t immediately feel better, but I did feel different. Therefore I do actually have a little hope that she will be able to get me out of this strenuous time. The rest of my reports will follow and I hope they will be of use to many of you. Emilie.
Sunday, March 15th 2009, 1.39 p.m.
In order to throw some light on my symptoms, I’ll make a list of my problems and I’ll give some more explanation.
I was first troubled by voices: voices that talked to me, that laughed at me, voices that imitated acquaintances of mine and told me dirty things. I had feelings that didn’t seem to belong to me (heartache, crying fits, distress), I saw images of my friend hanging himself or trying to strangle me.
Now I very much have the impression that I always have an urge to scream, scream very loud, and that I constantly have to offer resistance in order not to start screaming. It’s grueling, those voices are also very exhausting because you have the reflex to suppress them. I also hear a kind of whisper, a rustle in my head that makes it impossible for me to concentrate. Really a hell actually: along with this, I also very much have the feeling I’m somebody else, that Emilie is no longer there.
And the greatest shock of all to me was the fact that my friend suddenly treated me very coldly. He was merciless and rude and told me he didn’t want to see me anymore or he just walked away from me. Now he is completely withdrawing into himself and unfortunately I’m doing this too because of all those voices. Furthermore I have a lot of pain and twinges in my chest.
And my ever, ever greatest complaint for a few days is that I’m really so afraid and also terribly afraid of ending up in psychiatry.
I hope that everything is clear now. Furthermore I’ll try to describe the evolution per symptom (I’ll focus on the voices, the fear and the screaming and the feeling of being myself anymore, because these are the most annoying to me).
Monday, March 16th 2009, 11.41 p.m.
It’s the first day of the treatment and there have been moments that I have already been a little less troubled by voices. My urge to scream has changed, it very often diminishes. I even appear to have a different feeling about myself since I’ve consulted Linda. That is what strikes me the most. I finally start to feel a little like myself, like Emilie again. I have the impression that I’m a little more in my own skin again instead of somebody else, this feels very good and I really, immensely hope that this will last or even increase, this feeling of being myself again.
What strikes me the most is that I can perceive changes in my behaviour (compared to about five months ago, before all the misery began). I see that at a certain moment some of my reactions were very strange (for example I have never stolen anything, but I suddenly had an urge to steal things). I have the impression that I’m becoming more aware of a lot of things. I find this the greatest progress for the moment. Today it occurred to me a couple of times that some things actually didn’t add up at all (or rather ‘don’t add up’) regarding my behaviour of the past few months and I have become aware of that, this is a huge step forward as far as I’m concerned.
Tuesday, March 17th 2009, 8.50 p.m.
I’ve had a strange day, I’m somewhat daunted by all my problems of the last few months. I’m suddenly rather afraid it won’t get solved. There is yet something that has greatly changed for the better since I went to see Linda, and that is that I feel like Emilie again, I feel I’m gradually starting to actually come closer to myself again and I can yet again be myself a little again, this continues to feel good. I don’t know well how to explain it, but it’s as if it’s me again, who’s in my body.
The voices and the screaming have troubled me quite a lot today, though, but in fits and starts, sometimes more vehemently, then quieter again. The voices are different, they don’t sabotage and contradict me as much anymore (for example: everything I did was always commented on, usually very negatively) and now this is already happening less. I have difficulty concentrating as a result, though, and for the rest I hope they’ll completely disappear. I also take heart from the fact that I can always call Linda when things don’t go well. She also asks me about my progress by mail. It does help a little to calm down, particularly when you think (like I have been doing for the whole day today), that it might perhaps not get solved after all.
Wednesday, March 18th 2009, 6.09 p.m.
We’re on day three and since I got up, the voices haven’t been troubling me at all yet. I still hear something now and then when I’m caught in a weak moment (when I feel sad or very tired), but for the rest I can for the first time think entirely like I used to think for a number of hours on end without being contradicted in my own head or being commented on everything by those voices in my head. I really feel like Emily again. However, I’m still very afraid that it won’t get solved and I’m sad about my friend and things like that, but I think I can really say that I have actually obtained results. I really hope it will continue to evolve in this direction, I try to be very careful in what I say and think (in order not to build false hope), but I’m really more optimistic about it after today and after what I can perceive. There is really an evolution. The screaming is quiet and I don’t need to offer resistance in order to stop it. However, I feel it’s still inside me, but I’m hopeful it will disappear. The rustle in my head has even stayed away since this morning. This offers me the possibility to concentrate a lot better already, something for which I’m also incredibly grateful, for the time being.
Thursday, March 19th 2009, 9.41 p.m.
This is day four of the treatment and I must say I’m both quite pleased and astonished. Today the voices have troubled me a little more than yesterday, but it was really perfectly bearable. If things can continue like this, then I have high hopes that it will even get resolved completely. I am really still surprised that it can diminish so quickly and that there is actually a difference. I still feel like myself again (something which was absolutely no longer the case when I was hearing a lot more voices). Furthermore I’m a little less anxious (although this has really been the most difficult time of my life so far, and in the main, I’m really an anxious person).
Friday, March 20th 2009, 8.25 p.m.
Day five. I once again got up without any voices at all this morning and they have stayed away until about 7 pm. After a nap I again had some strange thoughts, for a moment I was afraid, but very little has been troubling me today, although it has been a very stressful day. So yes, I think this is exceptionally good news.
After meeting up with a friend today, she asked if everything was alright again because she felt I once again acted like I used to do, which is also very good news.
I think I can really start to say Linda surely isn’t talking nonsense.
Today the anxiety was really ok and I can again act like Emilie as well.
I’m still regularly troubled by the screaming (i.e. a huge urge to scream), but I almost no longer have to offer resistance to stop it (i.e. to not actually do it). I think it’s really getting solved now. I regularly feel a little strange and anxious, though, but I think that this is particularly due to the situation at this moment. Once again, I can even enjoy something now and then instead of always being preoccupied with those voices and things like that.
Sunday, March 22th 2009, 12.55 a.m.
One week ago, I was at Linda’s for the first time, telling my story. I left her office rather sceptical, but with a good feeling, though. I do have to admit that now, a week later, I’m totally convinced that this distance treatment works. Today I haven’t been troubled by voices at all anymore. I can think normally again. However, I’m still afraid that it will change once again, even though I haven’t been troubled by them at all today. I’ve had a strong urge to scream today, but I almost didn’t have to offer resistance to stop it and it has changed, I don’t feel it in my chest anymore either, like before, but in my throat, as if it needs to come out. A lot less unpleasant than it used to be, actually, when I think of it. The only thing I was troubled by today, was a numb feeling, but I know almost for sure that this is due to my current situation (with my friend and things like that). My anxiety is much better, every now and then I feel something welling up, but it’s not so bad at all, actually, compared to what I have been through in the last few weeks (those voice were really unbearable to me, they terrified me and almost drove me insane).
Anyway, at the same time I’m still somewhat surprised, really happy and still a little afraid that it will take a turn, because I don’t want to declare victory too soon.
Sunday, March 22th 2009, 21.58 p.m.
A strange beginning of the day today, I got up with a rather numb feeling and a little rustle in my head (not really voices, but sounds like radio interference). This didn’t last long, next it was gone. The numb feeling fluctuates throughout the day, but now I’m fine again. The voices have stayed away almost entirely and furthermore, the yelling hasn’t troubled me much. This morning, Linda reassured me and that has helped me a little to keep my spirits up. I rarely suffer from anxiety anymore, so that is also fantastic.
The only thing I’m again a little worried about is this numb feeling, but apart from that I can’t repeat enough that there is a huge change and in only a week’s time.
Monday, March 23rd 2009, 20.58 p.m.
Great day today, hardly troubled by anything at all, only a few strange thoughts now and then, but apart from that, really great. No urge to scream at all anymore, no rustle, I can more or less concentrate again, I am not anxious. I do still somewhat live in a different world, but the circumstances certainly add to this. It works, there’s little else I can say about it. It’s not entirely over yet, but the improvement can be noticed very well, although my circumstances (I mean, the situation I’m in) haven’t improved since the beginning of the treatment by Linda, quite the opposite, in fact. I hardly suffer anymore from the problems for which I went to see Linda (voices and the like, this was the worst).
Wednesday, March 25th 2009, 22.15 p.m.
I haven’t written anything yesterday, because actually, there wasn’t much to tell. Everything has been fine, no longer troubled by voices, no more rustle, no numb feeling, a lot less anxiety than usual … although I’ve had a stressful day once again (a student’s life can sometimes be stressful). Actually, I have even been able to forget about this whole situation for a while. Now I mainly try to sort out the chaos in my life a little and somehow I still continue to anxiously await whether this will stay this way. The only thing I was a little troubled by today was a tiny rustle in my head, nothing else apart from that. I feel I’m gradually starting to get my feet on the ground again.
Wednesday, April 1st 2009, 21.06 p.m.
I’m back here, I just wanted to leave a little word to tell I’m still almost entirely free of symptoms. Once in a while I hear a little rustle or there’s a moment when I happen to hear a voice, but nothing really lasting, it is really muuuuuch better. I really can’t complain. Concentration is fine, the screaming very, very rarely happens to crop up, but it is gone very quickly, and now I can actually say with conviction that everything is a lot better. I really hope Linda will manage to make her healing more widely known, since it is really, really, really worthwhile.
Tuesday, April 14th 2009, 15.13 pm
It’s a couple of weeks on and I don’t hear voices anymore, I don’t suffer from an urge to scream anymore, I’m certainly not as frightened anymore and I totally feel like myself again. Linda was right, she can solve a lot and that is also what she has done for me.